Boots To Asses, Electrify The Masses,…..and JR Dances?!

Posted by on Nov 16, 2011 in WWE Backstage | 0 comments

Raw Gets Rocked!

Oh, and Mick Foley’s back! I didn’t include that in the title because I couldn’t make it rhyme with the rest of the words. But it’s as important as anything that happened last night on Raw! Mick Foley / Mankind / Dude Love / Cactus Jack / Best Commissioner Ever is back in WWE and clearly, I marked out when I saw him. I mean come on, who doesn’t love Mick Foley?! If you saw Mick Foley but just sat there in your sofa and cracked a half-assed smile or maybe clapped your hands without your palms producing anything remotely audible, something’s wrong with you. No really. I’m serious. Anyway….

Foley came back and got right down to business. He got a massive, massive pop outta’ Boston. He tried to sell Cena as a major superstar to the crowd but only a portion of them were buying it. I’m not a Cena fan, that’s no secret. But I felt bad for the guy last night. I mean what kind of work is WWE doing if their No.1 babyface is getting booed by his own hometown?  Seriously, WWE? Wake up and write better stuff you lazy f**ks. Like Cena or not, I give the guy props. He may not be the kind of superstar I want to watch every week, and damn sure not who I’d like to see headline every single PPV every single year, but he’s got plenty of determination and that counts for something. That doesn’t mean I won’t be rooting for The Rock next year though. #Boots To Asses, baby!

I know a lot of people were baffled after The Rock gave Mick Foley a Rockbottom. I, however, loved it! This is the type of entertainment I want to see when I watch Raw. Who cares if they’re friends? The Rock didn’t like the segment, it was painful to watch, so he came in and gave Mick Foley a Rockbottom, plain and simple. What’s not to like? It’s wrestling. They wrestle. If someone doesn’t like something, they punch the guy who’s doing it. I would have hated it if Foley was suddenly hailed as this uber-respectable legend that nobody backstage would dare lay a finger on. That’s not Mick Foley. Mick Foley has always been a cheeseball. That’s who he is. And that’s the version that played out last night. It was awesome! Sure, some people will go to David Otunga for counseling when they’re upset, but when has that ever been entertaining?

By the way, the audience Boston were amazing! Ruckus crowd throughout the night. Thank you, Boston. I love crowds like these!

Did anyone else notice that Alberto Del Rio almost had a panic attack when the Bellas asked him what car he drove in today? I give the guy kudos for keeping a straight face. Anyone else would have spat random words through their lips. “Rhinoceros!!” At least Del Rio was professional enough to keep his cool and change the subject to some party he was going to throw after Survivor Series. I hope he remembers the name of his car then at least. You can’t change the subject forever, Alberto. And do yourself a favor and don’t invite the Bellas, or they’ll ask you what kind of stone your house is made out of and you’ll be suffering from sweat-gland explosion again.

Also, JR can dance. Not really dance, but behave like he was being possessed by a demon while trying to fight it. Seriously though, it was awesome. There were some crazy moves that came out of that guy. Worst dubstep attempt ever, but it was coming from JR so it’s respectable. Gotta’ love good ol’ Jim Ross. Sauce it!

When WWE said Raw was going to get Rocked, I thought The Rock was going to be out a lot more throughout the night. That didn’t happen, and I was beginning to get very frustrated halfway through the show. Luckily the final segment with The Great One was enough to make this a memorable episode. The Rock is gold in the ring. It doesn’t matter if you like him or not, the fact is that he is one of the few remaining superstars who can pump a crowd and get a pop like that. He interacted with Boston, he created a brand new chant (Boots To Asses, Boots To Asses, Boots To Asses!), and he electrified like he always does! The man knows how to keep a crowd entertained, and that’s all that matters. It has been a while since I’ve heard a pop like that (last being with CM Punk in Chicago, Money In The Bank). The entire segment was entertaining as hell. John Cena did pretty well too although I hated the painfully repetitive “Via Satellite” joke. All in all, awesome segment. The part with The Rock ‘stealing’ Cena’s AA victim was the exclamation point on this whole scenario. Great way to cap off a good show.

Here are more short notes from the show :

Someone in Creative seems to think that delaying Brodus Clay’s “debut” will A) upset us or B) make us anticipate it more. Neither of those will happen, and nobody’s holding their breath in anticipation of Raw Gets Brodused.

Cody got rid of the mask. Lots of people seem to be happy with that. I’m not. I kinda’ liked dark and broody Cody. The way he wheezed his words out made for some good promos. Plus the whole Dr. Doom thing worked.

Randy Orton shaved his beard. Not sure why this is something worth mentioning, so I’ll leave it at that.

Santino still looks depressed. What’s up with that guy? He’s funny, but just not genuinely funny like before, you know what I mean? Is he sad? Is he suffering from something? Is he drinking too much? Get back up, Santino. You are f**kin’ awesome!

Kevin Nash whined like an overgrown b*tch. Apparently he’s upset because Triple H doesn’t have good business sense.

All in all, Raw was pretty solid this week. Most 3-hour Raw episodes are excruciating to watch, especially if nothing special is going on and nobody special is set to host. This one was different. Foley’s segment was good, and The Rock’s was fantastic. Most of the matches were actually very entertaining. Not bad, WWE. Not bad.

All gifs courtesy of 



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